A private starting point · Canada
If you keep promising yourself this is the last time — read this first.
This pattern has a clinical name. It is more common than you think, and it is treatable. No judgement here — just a quiet map of what actually helps.
No email · nothing stored · never used for advertising. In crisis? Call or text 988, any hour.
The pattern, quietly
no verdicts here
- Time
- hours you didn't mean to spend
- Rules
- limits you set — and couldn't keep
- Secrecy
- a hidden version of your life, exhausting to maintain
- Cost
- a relationship, or your own peace, paying the price
- what clinicians call it
- a recognized, treatable condition
The WHO's ICD-11 lists compulsive sexual behaviour disorder. Naming it is not a diagnosis — it's the reason help exists.
No email, no account, nothing stored
Read every guide, compare every fellowship, and take the self-check without giving a name, an email, or a phone number. The self-check runs entirely in your browser — your answers never leave the page, and nothing is sent anywhere unless you ask us to connect you.
Never used for advertising — ever
No advertising pixels, no retargeting, no lookalike audiences, no exceptions. Your visit here will never surface as an ad on another screen, including screens other people can see. That is the no-remarketing pledge, and it is absolute on this site.
A quick exit, always one tap away
The Quick exit button in the header instantly replaces this page with a plain weather page and moves your browser to a neutral site. It cannot erase your browsing history — for that, open this site in a private window from the start.
A quiet first step
Ten questions. Three minutes. Nothing stored, nothing sent.
A structured self-reflection written in plain clinical language — time, limits, secrecy, escalation, cost. It runs entirely in your browser and disappears when you close the tab. It is not a diagnosis; it's a clearer look at a pattern.
Begin the self-check →What your answers can reflect back:
- Few signs of a compulsive patternworth knowing
- Some patterns worth attentionthe early, easier moment
- Consistent with a compulsive patternreal support exists
Reflection, not diagnosis — only a qualified clinician can assess you.
Eight fellowships. A few letters apart. Profoundly different.
SA is not SAA. SLAA covers ground the others don't. Each fellowship defines "sobriety" differently — one applies a single strict definition to everyone; others have each member draw their own boundaries. Nobody explains this neutrally in one place. We do.
One shared definition
The strictest path
One fellowship applies a single, specific definition of sobriety to every member — no individual variation. For some people, that clarity is exactly what works.
A personal plan
The self-defined path
Others have each member map their own behaviours into zones — what they abstain from, what they treat with caution, what belongs to a healthy life — usually in writing, with support.
Love & fantasy included
The wider lens
One fellowship's scope includes romantic obsession, relationship patterns, and fantasy — for people whose struggle isn't primarily about sexual behaviour at all.
If it's your partner's behaviour
You didn't cause this. You get your own path.
Discovering a partner's hidden behaviour is its own injury — the ground moves under everything you thought you knew. Two fellowships exist specifically for you, and betrayal-informed therapists specialize in exactly this. Your recovery is not an accessory to theirs.
The partner's page →- S-Anon and COSA are free, anonymous peer fellowships for people affected by someone else's sexual behaviour — independent of whatever your partner does or doesn't do.
- Betrayal-informed therapy treats the discovery itself as the wound — not as codependency, not as your failing. Couples work is possible later, if and when you want it.
- If you're in danger at home: intimidation, threats, or violence is a safety issue first. Family-violence support is free and confidential, 24/7 — sheltersafe.ca ↗. In an emergency, call 911.
Straight answers
Is this confidential?
Yes — more than most sites can honestly claim. You can read everything and take the self-check without an account or an email; the self-check runs entirely in your browser and nothing is stored or sent. We use no advertising pixels and no remarketing of any kind, so your visit never follows you to another screen. If you choose to send a connection request, we ask for your express consent first, and your details go only to the licensed providers matched to your request — reaching you only by the contact method you chose. We never sell your information to data brokers or advertisers.
Does it cost anything?
Using Intimacy Recovery is free. Much of the help itself is free too: all ten peer fellowships described on this site cost nothing and ask for no names. Specialized therapy and treatment programs charge their own fees, which you confirm directly with the provider — we never quote prices on your behalf, and extended health plans often cover registered therapists.
Is the self-check a diagnosis?
No. It's a structured self-reflection written in careful clinical language — the markers it asks about are the ones clinicians consider, and the WHO's ICD-11 recognizes compulsive sexual behaviour disorder as a diagnosable condition. But recognition is not diagnosis: only a qualified clinician can assess you, confidentially. Your answers never leave the page.
What if I'm not ready to talk to anyone?
That's the normal starting point, and nothing here rushes you. The fellowship comparison and the self-check are both anonymous and free — knowing the map costs nothing and commits you to nothing. When one conversation ever feels possible, the connection request goes to a single provider you approve, by the contact method you name, and no one else.
Specialized help exists. Most people never hear about it.
Therapists certified in this exact work practice across Canada, many virtually. A meeting and a therapist are not competing options — and neither needs anyone else to know. Start with the private self-check, or ask us for one discreet introduction.
In crisis right now? Call or text 988, any hour, free.