The comparison · in plain language
Which fellowship fits? An honest, neutral map.
Eight fellowships serve people working on sexual behaviour, pornography, or love and relationship patterns — plus two for partners. All are free and anonymous. They differ most in one place almost nobody explains: what "sobriety" means. Here is that map, with no favourite.
Read this first — our independence. Intimacy Recovery is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any fellowship on this page. Everything below is our own plain-language description of publicly known differences, written to help you choose a door — the fellowships themselves are the only authority on their programs, and each definition of sobriety is theirs to state. Meeting times and literature live on their official sites, which is where all our links go. We express no view on which approach is "right"; people recover in every one of them.
The acronym trap: SA and SAA are two different organizations with materially different approaches — one letter, very different programs. If someone recommended "SA" to you, confirm which one they meant before you show up at a meeting expecting the other.
The core decision: SA, SAA, and SLAA.
One fixed definition for everyone, a plan each member writes for themselves, or a lens wide enough to include love and fantasy. Visit the official sites, read how each describes sobriety, and notice which one you exhale at.
SA · Sexual behaviour broadly
Sexaholics Anonymous
How sobriety is defined
One single, specific definition of sobriety applied to every member — the strictest on this page. No individual variation.
The clarity of a fixed line suits some people; others find it too narrow for their situation. Not the same organization as SAA.
SAA · Sexual behaviour broadly
Sex Addicts Anonymous
How sobriety is defined
Each member defines their own abstinence: behaviours are sorted, in writing and with support, into ones to abstain from, ones to treat with caution, and ones that belong to a healthy life.
Not the same organization as SA. The self-defined plan is the core difference between the two.
SLAA · Sex, love, relationships, fantasy
Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous
How sobriety is defined
Members identify their own boundary behaviours; the scope explicitly includes romantic obsession, serial relationships, fantasy, and patterns of avoiding intimacy altogether.
The widest lens here — many members' struggle is not primarily sexual.
Five more doors, each with its own shape.
SCA · Sexual compulsion
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
Members write an individual recovery plan; the emphasis is on moving toward healthy sexuality rather than a fixed universal line.
Historic roots in gay men's communities; today open to everyone.
Meetings are found through the fellowship's own literature and local intergroups.
SRA · Sexual compulsion
Sexual Recovery Anonymous
A defined concept of sobriety centred on freedom from compulsive sexual behaviour, alongside a written personal plan.
A smaller fellowship — fewer meetings, with much of its presence online.
PAA · Pornography specifically
Porn Addicts Anonymous
Recovery is framed around stopping pornography use; boundaries beyond that are the member's own.
A narrow, specific front door for people whose issue is porn and only porn.
SPAA · Sex and pornography together
Sex & Pornography Addicts Anonymous
A newer fellowship using one shared sobriety definition for all members rather than individual plans.
Strong online-meeting culture — often the easiest first meeting to actually attend.
LAA · Love & relationship patterns
Love Addicts Anonymous
Members define their own boundaries around obsessive romantic patterns — limerence, fantasy relationships, inability to leave harmful ones.
For people who'd say “my problem is who I attach to, not sex.”
※ Descriptions are our own editorial summaries for orientation only — always confirm each program's approach on its official site. Sobriety definitions belong to the fellowships. Meeting times change; the official sites are the only source worth trusting.
A rough compass, not a verdict
- If porn is the whole issue: PAA and SPAA meet the problem by name. SAA's self-defined plan also fits well — porn simply becomes the behaviour at the centre of the plan.
- If it's behaviour beyond the screen: compare SA and SAA first. The strict single definition versus the self-defined plan is the real decision.
- If it's who you attach to: look at SLAA and LAA. Romantic obsession, staying in harmful relationships, or avoiding intimacy entirely — these treat that as the primary struggle, not a footnote.
For partners
Two fellowships exist for the person on the other side of the discovery.
For family & partners
S-Anon
A peer fellowship for people affected by someone else's sexual behaviour. Your participation is yours — it doesn't depend on your partner attending anything, admitting anything, or changing anything.
For anyone affected
COSA
A peer fellowship for those whose lives have been affected by another person's compulsive sexual behaviour — partners, former partners, family members. Anonymous and free.
If you're in danger at home: peer support is not a safety plan. If your partner's behaviour includes intimidation, threats, or violence, family-violence support lines are free and confidential, 24/7 — find support near you at sheltersafe.ca ↗. In an emergency, call 911.
More partner-side guidance — the first days after a discovery, and how your own support works — is on the partner's page.
When a meeting isn't the whole answer.
A fellowship gives you a room; it isn't therapy, and it can't answer "do I need more?" from inside. If the behaviour is risking your job or safety, if you've tried to stop many times across years, if there's trauma or depression underneath, or if your relationship is in acute crisis — specialized therapists and structured treatment programs exist for exactly this, in Canada. We can make that introduction, discreetly and only with your consent.
Ask us to connect youIn crisis right now? Call or text 988, any hour.